Feature: Q&A with Alex Dong
Alex is a passionate family man, so we’re starting our Journey of Fatherhood with a few candid Q&As with the warmest smile behind HappyMoose HQ. Alex juggles work/life balance with his wife Zephyr and their little girl Mia (aged 6). Life in Dunedin is settled and cosy, a world away from the jet-set international careers they were both juggling over a decade ago.
Q: You mentioned you’re looking forward to Father’s Day this September. What makes Father’s Day extra special to you now that Mia is getting a little bit older?
Father’s day to me; represents an opportunity to really focus on what the word ‘father’ means. I’m both a father to Mia and a son to my Dad – it brings clarity to my role as Mia’s Dad, and an opportunity to look at the year ahead and reflect on how I can be a better dad. Like any of the roles we play in life (husband, father, son, software engineer, business owner), I like that we can acknowledge and celebrate the joys of being a father.
Q: You know how quickly the baby phase passes (even if it feels never-ending at the time!) If you could go back to the first 12 months, what would you do differently as a new dad (if anything)?
Honestly, I wish I had taken more photos! Mia was born in the early months of us launching the business, and I was so focused on growing HappyMoose, while simultaneously trying to be a good dad. I had my eye on the big things and didn’t photograph the everyday moments which in hindsight, would have been the most beautiful moments to reflect on. Also, I had this expectation of continuing the same work habits as before Mia (I also finished a first-year Stanford Economics Course at the same time.) Looking back, I wish I had given myself the time to adjust to the privilege of having a new baby. Put down the work and allowed myself the stillness of being with her, enjoying the feeling of a little sleeping baby on my chest while the Dunedin snow lay heavy outside.
Q: What would make a great father’s day gift this year?
I’m an avid believer in photographing our family in everyday moments (hence the inception of HappyMoose.) From Mia making a meal with me or the three of us out and about together, I have no hesitation in asking a stranger to snap a quick photo of us. Zeph and I do try to update our albums and picture frames as often as we can, however, I’d love a Mia-inspired corkboard or pinboard with interchangeable photos pinned up and celebrated through her eyes. I work from home, so seeing those family moments on display would be lovely!
Q: Your parents live in China, so it’s challenging to show your love from a world away… How do you celebrate your Dad and make him feel special on father’s day?
It is difficult because the reality is our lives do drift apart; conversations can take a little work to dig in and move past the generic everyday chit-chat. Before I left China, I made copies of all my family photos from my childhood. I do the effort to go through the old photos, pick one or two and then ask Dad about these pictures. This serves as a fantastic prompt and it allows the conversation to reveal something about the past that I share with my Dad that I didn’t know.
Q: What does the day entail for you?
The first thing I do is call my Dad. Then I’m usually treated to a delicious breakfast made by Zeph & Mia. The best part of father’s day is having no house chores! I enjoy the freedom to take the day in my stride; and will often head out for a long walk in the mountains if it’s not too wet. Enjoying some quiet time to reflect on my personal goals and aspirations for my family.
Q: We all know dads are actually very easy to please; what was the best Father’s day gift you’ve received in the past?
A couple of years ago, I deliberately started leaving books all over the house in an effort to prompt me to read more. This meant I often had multiple books on the go at the same time and I lost my place in each. Mia made me some very special bookmarks for Father’s Day, depicting beautiful scenes of me with our chickens or me doing fencing. Her drawings are so colourful and always make me smile; I love these bookmarks and am still using them today!
Q: If you could choose a gift over an experience, which would you pick?
(LOL) I never get into shops so honestly, I don’t even know what’s out there! I find buying presents torturous so this is a tricky question. If I really had to choose something of value for me I’d say a lifetime membership to Audible or something like that 🙂
Q: Imagining how life will be when she’s all grown up; what will you miss about the younger years of fatherhood?
I’ll miss the closeness. She’s at an age where she wants to spend a lot of time with us. When she comes home from school, I’ll take a break and read with her, or we’ll cook dinner together. Having her around, talking, and doing silly things together makes up a huge part of our lives. It makes me feel sad to imagine a time when she’s not living with us; there will be a big hole in our lives for sure.
Q: What is your ultimate fatherhood/parenting goal?
As simple as this sounds, I want Mia to be happy. By happiness I mean I hope that she leads a life that she chooses, that she has the freedom and ability to live that is fulfilling.
Q: Do you ever sound like your Dad in parenting moments? What character traits do you proudly share with your father?
I think we do copy our parents regardless of our intentions! I share quite a few traits with my Dad. Traditionally in China, men are not supposed to cook (it’s a cultural thing) but my Dad always cooked really delicious food. He tried to figure out ways to buy good ingredients and come up with nutritious food for my mum, brother and I. Between 1989-1992 China went through 3 years of economic deflation, money ran out and times were incredibly tough! Dad would wait until the fruit stand packed up at the end of the day, and buy the bruised, imperfect fruit at a discounted price for us to enjoy. He always tried to prioritise our nutrition, and I now find myself in this role with Mia. I try to get her to eat her greens which fails more often than not! Regardless, I share the intention of sourcing and cooking great food for my family.